Hook Echo

Apr. 29th, 2015 12:28 pm
mistkitt: (Default)
Originally posted 4/16/2015

 It’s been pouring rain all day and I’m dying to write M!Ulqui and TY!Hime (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧

~

Orihime shook her head furiously, her hands balling up the bottom of her pajama top. She sat in the middle of Ulquiorra’s bed, where she had been since the television posted a tornado warning for a list of counties she could not yet recognize. He’d tried to tell her they would be fine, but she didn’t believe him; and to further illustrate her disbelief she went off in Japanese that was peppered with the occasional English word like “Dorothy” and “twister” and “munchkin.”

Ulquiorra, reclining with his back against the headboard, smirked when a flash of lighting sent Orihime diving into the sheets. He waited for the thunder to subside before he leaned over and lifted the blanket off her. “Do you know how I know we’ll be alright?” he asked her.

Orihime blinked at him with frightened eyes. He held his phone out to her, its screen displaying a Doppler radar loop. “See how the red and yellow are moving more north than east? It means the storm is going to skim the city at best. And this,” he pointed to a spot where the colors appeared to be twisting in on themselves, “is called a hook echo. Your tornado will most likely be located there.”

Orihime straightened, watching the colors move away from the dot that labeled the city. “It is not coming toward us.”

“That’s right,” Ulquiorra said, adding with a hint of wickedness, “but if you still want to sleep here tonight, you’re more than welcome to.”

Orihime lowered the phone, lifted her head, and did her best to look aloof. “Okay.”

“That’s what… huh?”

“I said okay.” She reached over him to put the phone on the nightstand. Ulquiorra watched her slip her legs under the covers, yank a pillow from his stack, fluff it, and plop it down. “Big storms make me nervous. I will sleep here.”

Ulquiorra handed her a second pillow. He’d rather sleep on two pillows than three. He’d rather the tornado throw a cow through his window than sleep on an odd number of anything, bed excluded. “It could be dangerous for you,” he said quietly.

Lightning illuminated the wall. A moment later, the lamp on the nightstand went out, along with the air conditioning, and the dishwasher in the kitchen. Thunder rolled over the building with strength enough to rattle dishes. When it was over, Ulquiorra found Orihime clinging to him, her face buried in his chest, her heart beating so hard he could feel it through her back.

They couldn’t see each other in the darkness at all. But her lips found their way to his anyway, and when the lamp flickered back on minutes later, she lifted her mouth to his ear and whispered, “turn it off.

mistkitt: (Default)
Originally posted 3/9/2015

 An epilogue that I’m totally NOT going to put in the crossover whenever it stops giving me hell.

~

“…thereby resulting in the gigai’s ability to sustain itself when it’s unoccupied. It was an excellent question. You wouldn’t believe how much trouble I had with rotting–”

Urahara was interrupted by an electronic chirp. Ulquiorra, who had managed to lose track of Urahara’s enthusiastic explanation five minutes ago, recognized the chirp as belonging to his phone. Odd. The handful of people who would text him knew he was abroad. He hadn’t had a message in two years.

“You have reception all the way out here?” Kisuke whined, referring to the mountains surrounding them. They had arrived in Peru at the beginning of March to investigate an alleged higher traffic of hollows. Urahara had a theory, of course, but despite having spent all this time wandering around with him, Ulquiorra still couldn’t put together how the man’s mind worked. He reached for his phone as Urahara continued to grumble about switching service providers, and checked the name on the display screen.

The Woman.

His eyes widened. He’d long since changed Orihime’s contact name to Orihime, and before then, it had been Woman, not The Woman. But it was impossible, wasn’t it? The communication channel had closed minutes after she’d… He opened the message.

The look on Ulquiorra’s face flipped Urahara’s silliness switch off. “What is it?” he asked, approaching him quickly. “Do we need to leave?” No response. Whatever was on that phone had rendered Ulquiorra speechless. He didn’t even try to hide it from Urahara as he leaned over to look.

It was a picture, taken in a hospital room. On the edge of the bed sat Ulquiorra - a different Ulquiorra, with no tear marks to be seen, but undoubtedly him - and beside him, an Orihime in a hospital gown with a tired smile, holding in her arms a swaddled newborn. The accompanying message was brief: Scarlet Schiffer, 03-11-2011, seven pounds, 18.2 inches.

Urahara relaxed, but his former panic was replaced by curiosity: How had the message gotten through? Was there another rift between the universes? And how did Ulquiorra feel, knowing that in another world, in another life, he and Orihime had a child together? He couldn’t gauge anything but shock from his companion’s expression. But it wasn’t a bad shock, Urahara thought. It was as if he’d been given a gift he hadn’t known he wanted more than anything in the world. “What say we try to be home by summer?” Urahara suggested with a knowing smile.

Ulquiorra nodded once, his eyes never leaving the phone. It took a few minutes, but as they resumed their walk up the mountains, he typed out a simple thank you, and pressed send. Seconds later, his phone chirped again:

Error, number does not exist. Message could not be sent.

mistkitt: (Default)
Originally posted 11/12/2014

 to accompany that horrible doodle from earlier 8D Because the timeline of the crossover won’t allow for pocky day shenanigans! and TY!Ulqui spends so much of his story being so… painfully… restrained.

 

~*~

“Oh my gosh, these biscuits aren’t even that good." Crunch. "How’s a girl supposed to get fat eating these twiggy little things?" Crunch crunch. "And the chocolate they use for them? Sub par at best. Could have paid less for a Hershey bar and had a better time.”

“You complain, yet you continue to eat them.”

Orihime stuck a stick of pocky between her teeth and grinned at Ulquiorra, who was on the other side of the couch with a Shakespeare anthology he’d picked up at the library. “Want one?”

“I will pass,” he said, not even looking at her.

The stick of pocky drooped, then disappeared into Orihime’s mouth like a blade of grass devoured by a rabbit. “Whatever.” She whacked the box back and forth from hand to hand, shaking up its contents, then changed her mind and plucked another stick, holding it with two fingers. “Hey, check me out.” She leaned back until she lounged lazily on the armrest. “Dahling, you simply must stop trying so hard. You are a modern woman. Let him come to you,” she said in an old Hollywood starlet voice, looking as bored as possible as she pretended to take a drag from the pocky stick.

She snuck a glance at Ulquiorra. His eyes had shifted from the book to her, but he remained on his side of the couch. Orihime held the pocky stick in her mouth and casually flicked her tank top strap off of her shoulder, then readjusted her pose to be as alluring and open as possible. If that didn’t get his attention…

“What are you doing, woman?”

She sighed, fixed her tank top strap, and got back into a normal sitting position. “Nothing." Eating bad biscuits because it’s some stupid couple holiday in Japan, she thought bitterly. Not that she was dating this Ulquiorra in particular, but would it kill him to act like a guy for once? She’d have an easier time seducing a tree. An asexual tree.

Orihime continued passive-aggressively eating the pocky - she’d spent money on it so there was no way it was going to waste - all the while thinking that her Ulquiorra wouldn’t have fallen for it either. He’d have made some snide comment about her catching a cold if she left her shoulder naked, then he’d watch her eat the entire box to teach her a lesson, then he’d say "I told you so” when she got a stomachache and then he would have sex with her. She frowned around her pocky. Why the hell was she dating him again? Must have been for his money, because no sane person would stick around for that kind of abu–

The bottom half of the pocky stick disappeared into Ulquiorra’s mouth, severed by a single bite. Orihime’s eyes flew wide open. He held her gaze as he swallowed it, wincing slightly. “I am not very fond of them either,” he confessed.

“Then why bother…?” Her sentence fell short when his thumb hooked through her tank top strap and moved it aside, lips lowering to her bared shoulder. She turned her head to simultaneously give him access and hide her smile. “You could have just done this the first time I offered.”

His mouth traveled languidly up her neck, his hand slipping into her hair to keep it out of his way. "I refuse to encourage your childish and shameless behavior,“ he said, his voice low in her ear.

"Trust me, you haven’t even seen the worst of it yet,” Orihime purred as she pulled him down and pressed her mouth firmly against his.

mistkitt: (Default)

Originally posted 10/14/2014

Crossover, Muse!Hime and TY!Ulqui.

~

“I just– I don’t– listen, I don’t– shh, listen. I don’t understand…” Orihime trailed off, wincing like it was taking every last amount of brainpower she had to form a sentence, “…why you’re mad at me.”

Ulquiorra gave her a flat stare. Really, it was his fault for assuming nothing would happen at an impromptu party with Rangiku - who’d been so excited to hang out with New Hime that she’d rented her old gigai for the day. But it still went against everything he knew. His Orihime didn’t drink alcohol, so at worst he’d expected her to be returned to him in some vulgar outfit, not bowling over garbage cans and slurring.

“Waaait. I get it. You’re… no, no, that doesn’t make any sense.” Orihime crawled towards him, zigzagging and placing her hands down uncertainly, like the floor was moving away from her. “C'mon, Japanese Paco, we were hangin’ out, that’s all. I didn’t cheat on you, if that’s what you’re PMSing about.”

“You and I are not in a romantic relationship.”

“Pffffffft, okay.” She fell face-first onto his lap and, rather than get up, she began to giggle. “You are such a liar, Japanese Paco!”

“I do not tell lies.”

“No, no, no, you totally do. Because,” she lifted herself onto her hands again, staring at him with all the focus of a sleepy high school student, “we’ve been kissing and stuff.”

“Kissing does not equal a relationship.”

“Come oooon, man, you’re bustin’ my balls here. Let’s just call this what it is.”

Ulquiorra frowned, not sure what she was referring to, or what balls she was talking about. He tried to push her away. “I will not discuss anything with you until you are sober.”

Orihime threw her arms around his neck. “You know what doesn’t need discussing? Me unlocking that chastity belt of yours,” she purred, more smushing her lips against his than actually kissing him. Ulquiorra grabbed her arms and extracted himself from her immediately.

“You’re going to bed. And no, I will not accompany you,” he said.

“Oh, geez, if you’re worried that I’m gonna tell people you took advantage of me while I was ineeburated, you can relax. Sober me has been DTF for like a week now.” Ulquiorra sighed, unable to comprehend her abbreviations and unwilling to try. He pulled the woman to her feet and began steering her towards the hallway. “Does this mean yes?” Orihime asked giddily. “Because if it does, we may need to get protection. I mean, could you imagine me getting pregnant with your baby? Paco would know it isn’t his… or IS it his? Shit, I would kill to watch that episode of Jerry Springer!”

Ulquiorra left her in his bedroom and closed the door between them, hoping that in her drunkenness, she would believe herself locked in. He grabbed a spare blanket from the hall closet and headed back to the living room. The woman’s off-key singing filled the apartment a few minutes later - apparently she’d forgotten all about wanting to sleep with him - and he listened to her voice fade in and out until she fell silent.

His last thought of the night was that her lips had tasted like sake.

mistkitt: (Default)
Originally posted 8/15/2014 

Shameless promotion of the crossover, eeeey. TY!Ulqui and M!Hime.

~

“You know, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to these Japanese floor-bed thingies,” Orihime said as she settled into her side of Ulquiorra’s bed for the evening. She’d rapidly stopped feeling embarrassed about having to share it with him if she wanted adequate sleep, and he didn’t seem to mind. Unless she chattered too much. Or snored. Not that she did – Paco was probably lying when he said so. “What do you call these again?”

“Futon,” Ulquiorra replied.

Her brow furrowed. “I thought futons were couch type deals.”

“Not fu-tahn,” he said, “fu-ton.”

“Fu-tone,” Orihime tried.

He stared at her, his face impassive, but she could tell from experience reading her Ulquiorra’s expressions that he was amused. “It is not ‘tone’ either. Fu-ton.”

“Fffu-ton,” she said.

He leaned closer. “Do not allow your teeth to touch your lip.”

Orihime’s frown deepened. “But then wouldn’t I just be whistling? Like hoo-ton or something?”

“Futon,” Ulquiorra repeated slowly.

She blushed, struggling to fix her pronunciation. “H-F-Futon.”

His green eyes softened. “That is correct.”

“Woo!” Orihime threw her fist into the air. “Score one for me! Orihime doesn’t suck that bad at Japanese!” She wiggled under the covers excitedly.

Now it was Ulquiorra’s turn to look confused. “How do you 'suck’ at Japanese?”

She turned her head in his direction. “Huh? Umm… Oh! It’s a figure of speech. When you suck at something, it means you’re really bad at it.”

“Ah.” Ulquiorra lapsed into a thoughtful silence. “Then you suck at Japanese.”

The Tease

Apr. 28th, 2015 03:02 pm
mistkitt: (Default)
Originally posted 7/20/2014 

Companion piece to “Pancakes,” featuring M!Ulqui and TY!Hime, on the sofa (bed).

~

There was something frustratingly alluring about this Ulquiorra. In terms of body, he was identical to hers in every way, save for the lack of tear marks. Their personalities bore striking similarities: distaste for things that didn’t interest them, impeccable tidiness, a need for structure and schedules, their tendency to assign grave importance to small tasks. Even in the things that set them apart from each other, they were similar: they were both argumentative, but her Ulquiorra would get his point across in two sentences, while this one would go on dramatic five-minute tangents that somehow ended in him blaming his opponent for climate change.

Could it be those small differences that attracted her to him? Or was it just plain curiosity? Ulquiorra Schiffer was born human, after all. He smiled easily, though half the time his smiles seemed insincere. He didn’t question why things were said or done. He knew who he was, and felt perfectly comfortable in his own skin…

“You’re staring.”

“Eh?” Orihime was indeed staring. Her cheeks burst into flame, and her English became harder to remember. “Sorry,” she squeaked. “I - ah - did not mean to?”

Ulquiorra smirked. God, she was adorable. “What were you thinking about?”

She was momentarily distracted by his half-lidded eyes, the interesting upward curve of his lips, the way that she felt drawn to him by a mere look.

The word she was thinking of: seductive.

But she didn’t know how to say that in English, and even if she did, she would be too embarrassed. “Umm…” Safe territory. There was a picture frame resting on top of the piano behind him. The photo was of him with his Orihime, who playfully stuck her tongue out at the cameraman. “I was thinking, you and me… her… you two are close?”

The seductive smile faltered a little. “Me and the world’s last dragon, you mean? Yes. We are in an adult relationship, after all.” More like an adolescent relationship where they kept breaking up and getting back together without actually leaving or murdering each other.

Orihime made a face that he could best describe as determined. “Then the two of you have… have…”

Ulquiorra waited for her to finish, but her face only got redder, if that was possible. His amusement revived his smile. “Yes, we’ve had sex.”

Apparently, that wasn’t what she had been trying to ask. Her eyebrows almost vanished into her hairline. “Kissu!” she screamed, her English forgotten entirely. “Kissu!!”

Whoops. “Well, the sex had to start somewhere,” he mused as the girl on the couch hid her face in her hands and whistled like a teakettle. Was she really that innocent? Oh, he sure hoped he had at least a month left to tease her. “I’m sorry,” he lied, “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

Orihime gave no indication of having heard or understood him. For five minutes she sat thinking of middle school health classes and anatomical diagrams and an American movie she’d seen once with Tatsuki and Chizuru where the protagonists had been doing IT under a blanket. Only instead of the blonde actors, she pictured her other self with the tired eyes, whimpering beneath the seductive pianist.

She had trouble looking directly at him for the next few days, which was just as well, because now she couldn’t stop wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

Pancakes

Apr. 28th, 2015 02:12 pm
mistkitt: (Default)
Originally posted 7/17/2014 

Luleiya told me I should write more crossover drabbles, so here’s Muse!Hime and TY!Ulqui, on the couch.

~

“And why is it so frickin’ hard to find pancake mix in Japan that doesn’t cost roughly the same as a Christmas dinner? Are you guys importing that shit illegally or something? Is there some kind of Aunt Jemima prohibition in this universe that I’m not aware of?”

Ulquiorra sensed a strange yet familiar feeling building up in his chest.

“That would be so awesome. Can you imagine? Underground pancake houses that you have to, like, knock on the door to the opening beat of Mambo No. Five? And if you don’t get it just right, they gut you like a kipper?”

His jaw clenched as he tried very hard to ignore the woman’s rambling. Why oh why had he taught himself English?

“Ulquiorra,” the woman had moved across the couch, and she leaned her entire weight on his left side, “I know you’re picturing this. Don’t worry about Mambo No. Five, okay? My idiot probably doesn’t know what that is either, so I’ll handle the knocking. You need to be the muscle, but also the charm, because the guy behind the peephole will take a look at me and be like,” she affected a very different accent, “‘Ain’t that a loose broad if I ever saw one! Frankie, check out the knockers on her, eh?’” She placed her hand on his chest, directly over his heart. “Then they let us in, and…” Her eyes grew wide, dazzled, and she gazed around the room as if she’d seen heaven. “Syrup. Syrup everywhere. Fountains of sticky sweet syrup in all the flavors of the rainbow! Gravy boats filled with the stuff! Scantily clad women pouring syrup into the greedy gullets of fat old businessmen!”

And he couldn’t help it anymore; he held his own hand to his mouth, seized by a silent shaking fit. Orihime drew back with a sly grin. Geez, it was about time; it’d only taken her half the afternoon to break him. “Are you laughing?” she asked in a tone of mock innocence. When he didn’t answer, she tried to get a look at his face, but he turned away from her. “Help me out here, are you laughing or having a seizure? Because I can call an ambulance in either case.”

“Stop,” he choked out.

“Or maybe the local IHOP? They’ll hook you up to a syrup IV drip. God, I want pancakes now.”

Ulquiorra straightened, hooked an arm around her waist, pulled her down roughly, and caught her with his other arm before she could fall across his lap. She stared up at him with wide eyes, red spreading across her cheeks. He wasn’t laughing, but he did wear a very faint smile. “It serves you right,” he admonished gently, before dipping down to kiss her.

Orihime sighed against his lips and slipped her hands into his hair, hoping that whatever had sent her to him would give her another month before she was forced to go home.

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